Half A Key

A friend of mine was sharing his story with me about when he lived in New York and fell on tough times. He recalled the time when he had failed to pay his rent and came home one day to find a big white piece of paper stuck to his door with the words, “Eviction Notice.” If that were not bad enough, he tried his key and it would not go into the lock. He explained that in New York when you are evicted the landlord breaks off half a key into the lock.

Wow! Half a key. What an insult, a slap in the face. What a feeling of hopelessness. I can almost see the shiny piece of key in the lock. I neglected to ask him if he tried to break off half of his key and fit it into the lock.

Have you ever felt the sting of half a key in your life? Maybe you lost your job and your passwords no longer work. Maybe you are in financial hard times and you go to charge groceries and the card is declined. Yes, you may have known it was coming, but when it finally happens to you, fear and feelings of failure set in. Don’t despair! You may not know it, but you hold the keys to unlocking new opportunities, even in a down economy. Your skills and experience can be used to enhance the lives of others.

Good news! There was more to my friend’s story. He responded by using the circumstance to move his life forward. He got off drugs, went to college, married his sweetheart and found a new path and purpose through his faith in God and his savior Jesus Christ. He found that Half a Key can be the key to unlock new opportunities.

Living in the Possibility

Don’t let what you see dictate what you can be.

"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me."  Philippians 4:13 KNJV


Living in the possibility of what you can be is the key to living a purpose-filled life. So many people limit themselves by what they see. Their life experiences color who they think they can be and what they think they can do. They set up barriers in their minds based on what others say they ARE and what they will become.

I want to challenge you to live in the great big world of I CAN and I WILL! Live in the world of possibility.

Many people have different opinions about the late Steve Jobs, CEO of Apple Computers. But one opinion that is shared by most everyone is that he was a true visionary. One man had a vision of transforming the way the world did business, enjoyed entertainment, and moved information. He lived in the world of POSSIBILITY.

Don’t let anyone define your possibility. When someone tells you, “It is impossible,” or “You can’t,” it’s probably because they think they can’t do it, so what makes you think you can do it, or they want to place limits on you to thwart your success.

Individuals who lived in the world of possibility:

Walt Disney, Steve Jobs, Bill Gates, Martin Luther King, and place your name here.

What sets all of these people apart is their ability to think and dream big, no matter the cost.

Living in the possibility breaks down the barriers of doubt.

The Power of Yes!

Yes, I will marry you…
Yes, you are hired…
Yes, I need you…
Yes, you have been approved…
Yes, you are moving on…
Yes, you have what it takes!

There is something powerful, uplifting and encouraging when someone says the word yes to us. When you hear the word yes, how does it make you feel?
Recently, my wife and I were watching the new show “The XFactor,” the new singing competition. During the course of the audition, there was a women about 42 who took the stage. However, prior to singing she was interviewed and asked about her background and her road to “The XFactor.” She told her story of being a single mom, and making a poor choice in a man that abused her both physically and emotionally. She said he would tell her she was too old to be a singer, and that she should give up on her dream. She expressed that she started to believe him and almost gave up. Then along came “The XFactor,” and her once in a life time opportunity.

She was then introduced, the crowd clapped and then it got quiet. She took a deep breath, the music started and she began to sing the song “Natural Woman.”

Her voice was beautiful, powerful and strong. It was filled with the emotion of being told that she was too old and that she would never amount to anything. Towards the end of the song, her eyes filled with tears, and as she hit the final note and held it, the audience went wild and gave her a standing ovation, and then the four judges joined them.

Each of the judges gave their critique. Then it was time to vote on whether she would move on… Judge one said YES!, Judge two said YES!, Judge three said YES! and then Judge four, Simon Cowell, looked back over his shoulder at the audience and said “4,304 Yeses”. At that she was overcome with emotion and walked off the stage to her children.

All of us have gone through tough times in our lives when we felt all alone. We felt a sense of inadequacy. Those feelings may have come as a result of someone doubting our abilities, or naysayers who tell us that we cannot do it, we are no good, we are too old and do not have what it takes to succeed.
Life is full of opportunities and we have to have our eyes and ears open to them. We must never doubt our abilities or give up on our hopes and dreams based on what others may say, especially those who do not have out best interest at heart.

Instead of giving in to the No-sayers, keep focused on your dreams and be patient, the YES, may be a word away!

Remember: YOU HAVE WHAT IT TAKES!

Are You Leaving Your Job Search To Chance?

We have a phrase in business, “throw the spaghetti against the wall and see what sticks.”  That’s not a business strategy that works, believe me.  It also does not work well in finding a job.  Why? Because it lacks planning and business knowledge.

Are you sitting in front of your computer throwing out resumes against the walls of cyberspace, hoping that one will stick with a prospective employer?  Well, you might as well throw spaghetti against the wall, because you will probably have better luck getting it to stick.

With this strategy, you continue your job search with little confidence that you will find that next well-paying opportunity.  With each unanswered email, phone call or resume submitted you start to think, “Will I ever find a job?”
The answer is yes, but you have to be willing to do what you have not yet been willing to do.  What is that?  Climb out of your comfort zone, (I know you have heard that phrase a thousand times, but you have never done it).  The time is now!

If you are in a rut, here are just a few suggestions you may want to consider:

• Develop your own website and place your resume, bio and samples of your work.  www.wix.com has numerous free templates to choose from.
• Start a blog on a subject in which you have expertise.  Again there are great websites like:  www.wordpress.com, www.blogspot.com and Google also offers free blog templates.
• Consider starting a small business.  The internet offers tons of help to individuals considering starting a business, but do your homework. (Keep looking for work, you can do both).
• Volunteer in your community.  There are numerous opportunities to serve in your community.  You never know who you might meet, while helping someone else.

I dare you to try something different!

A Handshake Away!

Over the past few months you have submitted literally hundreds of resumes, but have nothing but frustration to show for your efforts. You feel like giving up! Please DON’T!

You may only be a few clicks or a few handshakes away from your next job. Approximately 8-10% of American workers have given up looking for jobs and you know what? They have not found one.

Here are just a few quick tips:

• Revisit your plan - Stop doing the things that do not get you the results you are looking for.
• Set goals and track your progress. www.jibberjobber.com is a great way to track your search.
• Market your value. Start a website, blog, ask and answer questions on LinkedIn.
• Strengthen your network. This is the “hidden job market.”
• Stay positive! This is more important than anything you can do in your job search.

As you continue your job search it is important to remember that everyone you meet could potentially hold the key to your next job.  Be ready, you may be a handshake away!

To Toot or Not To Toot

Ever since we were young kids we were told never to brag on ourselves.  Humility was the key to success.  Well, once I lost my job I was told that it is important to express your value proposition to the company interviewing you.  “Why should we hire you?”  What are you going to offer that will help ease our pain? 

There are a couple of commonly used business acronyms--SOAR, (situation, opportunity, actions and results) or PAR, (Problem, Action and Results).  Both of them refer to an exercise focused on having you state what you did specifically to solve a problem.  This means you have to craft an answer that showcases your abilities, but in a way that is not perceived as bragging. 

Many of the people I coach find it difficult to talk about themselves.  All they can hear in their heads is the voice of their mother or father telling them it’s not nice to brag or “toot your own horn.”   I agree with your parents, but if you want a job, there are times when you must be prepared to blow your own horn. 

I am not talking about becoming boastful or a blowhard.  I am talking about a little smooth jazz, not hard rock.  When asked to talk about your accomplishments or value it is important not to focus solely on yourself, but also on others on your team who helped you achieve the results or helped you solve a problem.

Example:  Sales were down 10% and I recognized the opportunity to increase sales by revising our sales process. With the help of a solid sales team and the efforts of our customer service department we were able to increase sales by 5% the first quarter of implementing the new sales process, and 12% overall by year’s end.  Smooth jazz, not hard rock.

Like with any instrument you need to spend time practicing, so pick up your horn and start tooting it.  Remember, blow it calm and easy.

Down and Out vs Up and In

There is a lot of talk about joblessness these days, but I don’t know if people who have had a job consistently over the past few years can really appreciate what those who do not have a job are going through.  For many job seekers each day is filled with the dread of sending out resumes and cover letters.

Some job seekers have been looking for months and some for years.  After so much time spent searching with no tangible results, fear, anxiety and hopelessness fills all the empty spaces in their hearts and minds.

The other day I met a friend of mine who has been out of work for over two years now.  My heart broke as I heard her recount the submission of all the countless resumes and the failed interviews. Her face was so downcast. I could see the pain in her face.  She's a detailed person with great communication skills.  Unfortunately, after all of the time off she forgot that she has so much to contribute to an organization.

Seth on the other hand, is an energetic and intelligent man who was able to overcome the age barrier and the employment gap to secure a new job after 2 years of being out of work.  So it is possible to find a job, but Seth would tell you, the key is focus and a positive attitude.

Over the next few weeks I want to share some words of encouragement for all of you who are still looking for work.  I know it is difficult, but I want to encourage you to not give up and lose hope.

Feel free to post a comment or a question regarding your job search and I will do my best to help.

Time goes by so fast!

My wife has most, if not all, of the photos she has taken over the years on her computer and they cycle through as a screen saver.  There are two photos that pop up in the slideshow, and now almost bring me to tears. One is of my son, Jordan and me by a fountain at Marine World—I am holding him in my arms. The other is of Ashtyn, my daughter and I curled up on a swing set during a warm summer day.

I remember when I would carry both my son and daughter on my shoulders.  Now that they are 20 and 15, I obviously cannot carry them on my shoulders.  It’s amazing that as I think back I can almost feel their weight on my shoulders.  How my daughter used to slap my bald head and laugh and my son thought my head was his personal snare drum. 

What I wouldn't give just have the opportunity to put them on my shoulders again.  The good news is that I can still curl up with my little girl on the couch and laugh with her while watching some of our favorite movies together.  My son and I do a lot of hugging.  I am so blessed that he is the initiator of most of the hugs.

I have to admit that sometimes I take these moments for granted, like they will always be there.  As the years go by, I realize that the intimacy between a father and his children will change as they go out on their own.

They say you don’t know what you’ve got til it’s gone.  Enjoy all of the golden moments you can, don’t take them for granted and don’t wait until they have vanished like a vapor to savor and appreciate each one.

Childhood Memories and Lifetime Lessons

“There is no doubt that it is around the family and the home that all the greatest virtues, the most dominating virtues of human society, are created, strengthened and maintained” Winston Churchill

As a child I can remember lying across my parents’ bed with my mother and sisters, playing board games. I can also recall how my mother would gather us up and go to Jack in the Box for a late night snack of greasy, but ever so delicious tacos, (I would be in heartburn city if I tried that now). One of my fondest memories is looking at the late night horror show called Creature Features with my mother and closing my eyes when Lon Chaney turned into the “Wolfman.”

I love to reminisce over my childhood; I have so many great memories. The value of family cannot be underestimated. Family is the foundation to any strong and cohesive community and nation. However, the size and quality of the nuclear family has changed dramatically over the past decade and our country is suffering for it. So many people are running around going in different directions without meaning to get pulled off track, but they do. The importance of family and insuring that children have happy and healthy childhoods seems not to even be on the radar.

I have learned so many lessons from my childhood. The importance of instilling family values and expressing your love and support for your children is one of the most important. My family is a priority. As a child I remember my mother making numerous sacrifices for us. That example is one that I will always remember. As a father, I have realized that once I established a family, my personal wants take a back seat to making sure that I can be the best husband and father to my family. Raising a family is hard work, but it’s work that can pay off big time.

What are some of your fondest childhood memories, and what lessons have you learned as a result of your upbringing?

The Bondage of Fear

A fear of flying, fear of failure, fear of death, fear of a bully, fear of losing everything are just a few of the fears humans struggle with on a daily basis and during their lifetime.  Some fears obviously are rational and some are irrational. It seems as though it does not take much to set some on the rollercoaster of fear and anxiety.

I was speaking with a friend of mine who made what he believed to be a huge mistake at work that would cost him his job.  The mistake he made was small in the overall scheme of things, but for some reason he thought it was the unpardonable sin.  He began to work up in his mind so many different scenarios on what would happen to him as a result of the mistake.  The fear he worked up in his mind was like an empty dark room that he began to fill with monsters.

I used to have an intense fear of flying.  I allowed that fear to prevent me from seizing the opportunity to travel the world during my youth.  While working at Owens Corning I was expected to fly back and forth to corporate headquarters in Ohio and other locations throughout the country.   There was no way out; I had to fly.  One day I said to myself, “I will not let this fear control me.”  I knew that my fear was irrational and that I needed to take control of my thoughts and emotions and get on the plane.  That decision resulted in my being able to see many parts of the country that I would not have experienced had I not overcome my fear.    Truth be told, I still get a little nervous, but not enough to keep me from taking off into the wild blue yonder.

Are you struggling with fear?  Don’t be a slave to it.  When I experience fear, I focus my mind on:

• Acknowledging my fear and I face it head on
• I take control of the fear, I don’t let it control me
• I stay positive

I don’t mean to minimize the impact fear can have on a person with the simple ways I deal with fear, but I choose not to give in to my fears.  I want to live a life of freedom and not in the bondage of fear.

How about you?  

Everyone Needs A Lionel

The Oscar award winning movie, The Kings Speech, is replete with many messages that really inspired me.  It is both a beautiful and powerful story about Berte, (King George VI) and Lionel, his speech therapist, and how Lionel helped Berte overcome his stammering to deliver an inspirational speech that rallied a nation on the verge of World War II.

For all of you who may have seen the movie you will recall Lionel expressing his confidence in the future King and his potential for greatness.  In spite of Berte’s stammering, Lionel saw through the perceived impediment to the heart and soul of a man that exuded compassion and love for his country.

Why am I telling you this?  Because I believe all of us need a Lionel in our lives.  We need someone to encourage us and believe in us even when we cannot see our potential in ourselves.  It is very hard to go it alone especially when we are faced with taking on new challenges.  Berte only saw himself as a naval officer and not a King.  However, with a supportive wife at his side and Lionel, who would become his best friend, Berte transformed into the person who would become King George VI.

The King’s Speech reminds me of the story of Moses who had a speech impediment that he thought would preclude him from being the leader God wanted him to be.  Moses’ “Lionel” was his brother Aaron.  Yes, I know the stories are not exactly the same, but the bottom line is this: neither man knew what he really was capable of until he was pushed outside his comfort zone. Each man had someone at his side to give him help and build his confidence.  Both the British Empire and the children of Israel needed a leader the people would follow, and that’s what each of them got.

How about you?  Do you have a friend that encourages you?  Do you have one that sees your potential and supports you?  How about someone who pushes you beyond your self-imposed limits?

If you are going to achieve any meaningful success, you will need a Lionel in your life.  

Hello Seems To Be The Hardest Word

Saying hello is to acknowledge the existence of another.

It was a beautiful Saturday afternoon so I decided to go for a bike ride. We have a great trail that runs for approximately 50 miles along tree-lined paths called the Iron Horse Trail. No, I didn’t ride 50 miles, only about 20 miles round trip, but it was still a good ride. As I was riding along, I don’t know why, but I got the bright idea that I would say hello to everyone I met on the trail. I thought this would be an easy thing to do. However, as I rode, I quickly found myself being a little uneasy, especially with the various responses.

Some people kept their heads down. Some acted like they didn't hear me. In some cases the reason they didn’t hear me was because they were listening to music on their IPod, (at least that is what I would like to think.) Some looked at me like I was strange. Some said hello under their breath, with nary a smile. I think some were taken by surprise that someone would even say hello. All in all the majority of the responses were positive.

The best part of the ride was when there was a group of riders approaching. Before they got to me I said out loud, “Hello everyone.” They all said in unison "Hello!" with big smiles on their faces.

My take-away from the experience is that I am not responsible for how people respond; it is my job to be kind and courteous. Whether on a trail, in a grocery line or in a café, we all have a responsibility to be kind.

You may never know the impact a simple hello may have on someone. Try it, you will like it!

Dream Robbers

“Goals are Dreams Written Down.” Unknown

My son, Jordan, has a dream of opening up his own music production studio. He said he can visualize how it looks with specific detail. My daughter, Ashtyn, has a dream of opening up her own restaurant. She knows where she wants her restaurant and the type of cuisine she will serve. My wife and I support their dreams and will do whatever we can to help them achieve them. We wouldn’t dream of robbing them of their dreams.

Do you have dreams? I mean big audacious dreams! Have you achieved any of your dreams or are you close to achieving them? If you are realizing your dreams, it is probably because you have them written down. Moreover, you probably have people in your life that support your dreams.

Maybe you have given up on your dreams. Maybe there are people in your life who have said your dreams are so big you will never achieve them. There are people out there that I call dream robbers. Because they don’t have dreams of their own, they want to rob you of yours. They steal your passion for your dreams; they rob you of the joy your dreams give you through their consistent negative thinking. As a result, you are left hopeless and empty.

The drive you had is all gone and the ones who stole your dreams have the satisfaction of knowing you are going to leave them. You see there are people out there who are afraid to dream and as a result they do not want you to dream. Why? Because you will leave them behind.

I spoke at an organization for high school students and I asked them if they had dreams. One of them said he dreamed of being a disc jockey for a radio station. He said he had done research and visited a station and really wanted to pursue a career in the radio industry. However, he was putting his dream off because his parents said there is not a lot of money in it. The student was totally wiped out, all he wanted was to be a DJ. How sad!

If you allow people to rob you of your dreams, it will torment you for the rest of your life. You will look back and regret that you allowed another person to steal your dreams.

If you want to be a dream achiever I have a few security keys that will allow you to safeguard your dreams and goals:

• Write your dreams down.
• Your dreams should have a beneficial purpose.
• Distill them down to smart goals with the appropriate actions for achieving them.
• Visualize your goals. If you can see it, you can achieve it.
• Focus on achieving your dreams with a laser-like focus. This focus will drive your actions.
• Only share your dreams with those who will support you and build you up.

Don’t be afraid to dream. Dreams give you purpose and fuel for living. Don’t let anyone break down the door to your dreams and rob you. Stand firm in your desire to achieve your dreams.

I Can't Stop The Rain

“Sunshine is delicious, rain is refreshing, wind braces us up, snow is exhilarating; there is really no such thing as bad weather, only different kinds of good weather.”  ~John Ruskin

It’s cold, then rainy, then windy, and then it’s hot!  Have you found yourself complaining about the weather?  I will admit that I do.  I love the sun, I am a solar person.  When it’s raining, I can feel my internal battery draining.  I then start to complain and ask, “When is the rain going to stop?”

Recently, parts of the country have experienced extremely heavy rainfall, which resulted in record level flooding.  Lives, homes and personal property were lost.  As I saw images on the news of the total devastation of whole communities, I started to reflect, and felt bad about my complaining. 

I committed to stop my whining and embrace each and every day for the opportunity it presents. To feel the cold, the rain, the wind and the heat on my skin is a blessing.

It is about experiencing life! 

You may be experiencing rain or heat in your life.  The heat of a poor economy or the rain of a myriad of personal problems.  Hold on, take a deep breath and let go of the things you cannot control and place your faith in God, the One who is able to get you through whatever you are going through.

Can a man, by worrying, add a day to his life?

“Every evening I turn my worries over to God.  He’s going to be up all night anyway” Mary C. Crowley

Have you ever seen the Traveler’s Insurance commercial where a dog takes his bone and tries to find a safe and worry-free place to place it?  He tries to bury it.  Then he places it in a safety deposit box.  That night he tosses back and forth worrying about the bone until he can’t take it anymore.  He then returns to the bank and takes it out.  Worry!

My mother used to always tell me not to worry about anything until you have something to worry about.  I love that!  So many of us allow ourselves to worry about things that have not even happened yet.

We start to build in our minds scenarios of what can possibly happen to us as a result of something that is going on around us. We think of the worst possible outcomes and then may even find ourselves unwittingly working towards making them happen.  Have you ever heard someone say, “I am a worry wart?”  It’s almost like they wear it like a badge of honor.

During one of my speeches I asked the attendees how many of them were filled with worry, anxiety and fear?  Several of them raised their hands.  I asked, “How is it working for you?”  They all started to laugh.  Laughter, that’s a good thing.  Laughing at things you cannot control takes some of the power and sting out of the situation.

The next time you are tempted to worry, think about giving the following a chance to help you overcome the temptation:

·         Ask yourself, what is the worst that can happen?  Then develop a game plan so in the event the worst happens, you are prepared to face it head on.

·         Don’t sweat the small stuff!  Don’t let the small stuff be bigger than it is.

·         Fill your mind with positive thoughts!  Displace the negative with the positive.

·         Remember:  This too shall pass!  Whatever you are going through will not last forever.

·         Lastly, pray and read your Bible.  Filling your heart with God’s soul food will leave you full and satisfied.

Although life will never be completely worry free, remember, worry never solved a problem or added a day to your life. 

What side of the bed did you wake up on?

Each day we wake up faced with the choice of how we are going to embrace the day.
  
How you embrace the day may depend on the amount of sleep, and the quality of sleep you had during the night.  How many times has your alarm gone off and you hit the snooze button because you are not ready to get up?  The quality of the sleep you had can make a tremendous difference on how you see the day.

Have you ever heard the term “he/she woke up on the wrong side of the bed?”  How many days during the week do you wake up feeling crabby and out of sorts?  Although sleep may be ". . . little slices of death” (Edgar Allen Poe), all of us need sufficient sleep.

A good night’s sleep can energize you and open up your mind to creative thinking.  When I get good sleep, I feel like there is nothing I can’t accomplish.

Before you get out of bed, providing you did not oversleep, be grateful for waking up to see another day. While lying down, take time to get a good stretch.  Take a deep breath.  Take time to collect your thoughts.  Now get out of the bed.

One of the worst things you can do in my opinion is to jump out of the bed and rush out of the house before you can even think about your day.

Instead of waking up on the wrong side, try waking up on the right side, the choice is yours.  

Do you have an Attitude or an ATTITUDE?

When you think of attitude what goes through your mind?  How you answer the question can reveal a lot about your current state.  Would your answer reveal someone who appears to be happy all the time or maybe someone who walks around with a chip on their shoulder?  Obviously, one is positive and the other negative.

A positive attitude is more than walking around with a smile on your face or projecting an air of happiness, not that there is anything wrong with that as long as it is genuine.  I think a positive attitude is more than just being upbeat and appearing happy.  I believe there are other forms of a positive attitude that can be just as liberating and uplifting to the people we interact with in our lives.

 

Here are just a few of the positive attitudes that I embrace:

• An Attitude of Compassion – A desire to free those who are hurting and suffering.
• An Attitude of Gratitude – Appreciation and thankfulness expressed for the blessings we have received.
• An Attitude of Forgiveness – Acknowledging the hurt and the wrongs done to you, but being willing to forgive whether you are asked or not.
•  An Attitude of Service – Living life with your hands stretched out with palms down.  Giving, not receiving.

Attitude is everything.  It is important that you embrace an attitude that elevates your mind and heart, which positively impacts the lives of those you come in contact with.

My father in-law used to say to my son, “There are a lot of attitudes out there, now go pick a good one!” 

This Is Not a Rehearsal

“Stop acting as if life is a rehearsal. Live this day as if it were your last. The past is over and gone. The future is not guaranteed.”

Wayne Dyer

This past week I met with a friend of mine that I haven't seen for a long time.  I asked him what's happening and he simply said, "Life is happening." 

It got me to thinking how many days in my life that I just let life happen to me. How many times do I go through the days and weeks with no real plan.  As I continue to mature as a person, I realize that there are no do-overs in life, this is not a rehearsal.  I also realize that I can change the course of my life by living it the way God intended me to. How? By serving others, my family, friends and the new people who come into my life.   

Life presents so many challenges, but it also presents just as many opportunities to accomplish great things, and to make a significant and positive impact in the lives of others.

If you want to live a life that is fulfilling and meaningful you can start today.  It is not too late!

Are you living life as though today could be your last day on earth?  

THIS TOO SHALL PASS!

Worried about losing your home or your car?  Are you in jeopardy of losing your job?  Is the economy running you through the proverbial ringer?   If you’ve lost your job, do you feel like you will never get another one?  Has the loss of your job affected your marriage and relationships?

The economy is down and then we hear that things are turning around, but for many of us, we do not see it.  Fuel and food prices are still high!  We want to buy nourishing food, but all we can afford is the cheaper cuts of meat and canned vegetables.  Life for many of us is a struggle.  I hear so many people talk about how hopeless they feel.

It is incredible to me how much time and energy we spend fretting and worrying about things we cannot control.  The result is sleeplessness, anxiety, and overwhelming fear.

I know you don’t believe it now, but THIS TOO SHALL PASS!  It will not always be this way.  Many of the people who went through the Great Depression and the Great Recession of the early 70’s also experienced tremendous financial loss.  But, you know what?  It Passed!

The key to making it through these tough and trying times is staying focused on the fact that things will get better.   Armed with a positive attitude and laser- like focus on uncovering new opportunities, you can make it through this dark tunnel.  There is a light at the end.

Until then, take time to enjoy the simple things in life, like a cup of your favorite beverage, a book, or visiting family and friends.   I know this may sound overly simplified, but there are so many of us who, because of circumstances, forget to take the time to remember . . . THIS TOO SHALL PASS!

THERE IS POWER IN THE STILLNESS

Do you find the days, weeks, months and years flying by? I know I do. I cannot believe that the year is almost half over. Why, it seems that I just celebrated my 50th birthday, but that was almost 2 years ago.

Recently I heard about a woman whose life was so fast paced that on a hot summer day while running numerous errands, she jumped out of her car, leaving her toddler behind. Upon returning to her car she found her daughter’s lifeless body. I will never forget her saying, “How could a mother forget her child.” As she recalled the story she said that her life was full of busyness and she very seldom took time to slow down. It took losing her daughter for her to finally realize that she needed to reevaluate her priorities.

Although her story is not a common one, it does highlight how we can sometimes get caught up in the “To Do” of each day.

I believe we all need to get out of the noise, if only for a few minutes each day. We need to find a quiet place, which is just ours, a place of solitude. When you find that place, protect it from the noise of the world! I love to sit in my car in the morning to pray and read my Bible. It prepares me for the day.

Don’t let life consume you and dictate the pace if your life. Take time to reflect, reinvigorate and renew your mind and body.

There is power in the stillness!

What a Wonderful World This Would Be…

While sitting at Peets Coffee in Pleasant Hill, CA with my daughter, we engaged in a wonderful conversation with a woman.  She said she remembered my daughter because of her smile and her laughter.  While speaking with her she asked the question:  What if everyone smiled at someone they did not know?  And what if every day we focused on doing something nice for someone else?  We then started to discuss some of the ways we could make a difference in someone’s life in very simple ways:

Pay it forward – if someone does something nice for you, do something nice for someone else.

Open the door for someone – How many times have you held a door open for someone you didn’t know?

Buy someone a cup of coffee – While in line to buy a cup of coffee, someone bought my coffee for me.  It made my day!

Pay the toll for someone behind you – The woman we were speaking with said someone did it for her and the next day she did it for the car behind her.

Say hello to someone with authentic sentiment – A genuine heartfelt hello can be more than courteous, it can signal to the receiver that all is right with the world, if only for a few seconds.

Smile at the people you encounter no matter their response – There is a connection that happens between human beings that is hard to verbalize when someone smiles at another.  It can be a ray of sunshine on a cloudy day.

Let someone behind you in line go ahead of you – If you are in a grocery or bank line, try letting someone ahead of you.  They may fall over from shock.

Call a friend that you have not spoken to for awhile to say an encouraging word.

Say thank you -   Be gracious when someone does something kind, say thank you.

Give a Hug - Hug every member of your household before you leave or before they leave the house and tell them you love them.  Make it a habit!   

With all of the negative news and lack of civility in our world today, if each one of us extended some small courtesy, what a wonderful world this would be.

Authentic Connections

There is something very special that happens when you truly connect with another human being in a genuine encounter.

Have you ever noticed how many people stand in line, walk down the street or even go into the restroom taking on their phones or listening to their IPods? What is so important? How did we ever get along without cell phones and IPods?

It’s also amazing to see how many people who are together texting each other, while they are in the same room. Is this crazy or what? Have we forgotten how to talk to each other without an electronic device? Connecting with each other and building authentic relationships seems like a lost art form.  
How do we then build authentic and lasting relationships?

• Be who you are – Don’t be afraid to be yourself. No pretense.
• Be approachable – Smile and say, “Hello,” or, “Good morning!” This is so simple, but few do it with any authenticity.
• Be interested in others – spend less time talking about yourself and more time listening to others.

If we can break down the barriers that prevent us from connecting and building trusting relationships, there is no telling how our world could change.

When was the last time you really connected with someone in an authentic way? How did it affect you?

Twelve Square Feet

Have you ever had a task that was so big you did not know where to begin?  In your head you start to think how long it is going to take to get the task completed so you procrastinate.  In other cases you might try to bite off more than you can chew and you give up after you come to the realization that you are not going to get it done in the time you thought.

After a speaking engagement, I was having dinner with some of the attendees. In the course of our conversation, we discussed the challenge of getting large projects completed.  As we continued to talk, one woman shared with me a story about her childhood.  She said her parents had a nice sized back yard which had become overgrown and unsightly.  Her father used to look at it, noticing how it looked, but after a long work week he did not want to have anything to do with cleaning up the yard.  She said that one day her grandmother got the idea that she would take on the project of cleaning up the yard.  What she did was so smart.  She sectioned the yard off in sections 3 feet by 4 feet, a total of twelve square feet.  Each day she would clear and plant twelve square feet at a time until she had finally cleared the back yard.  What was left was a beautifully landscaped yard.

Do you have a project that has been sitting undone because it is so big?  Well you do not have to take on the whole acre, just twelve square feet at a time.

  

Time Based Currency

Have you ever said: I don’t have the time?  I wish I had the time?  If only I had the time?  I know I have on numerous occasions.  It reminds me of an interesting question that gave me a different perspective on Time.  The question was—

Imagine there is a bank which credits your account each morning with $86,400, which carries over no balance from day to day, allows you to keep no cash balance, and every evening cancels whatever you had failed to use during the day.

What would you do?

Draw out every cent, of course!

Well, everyone has such a bank. Its name is TIME.

Every morning, it credits you with 86,400 seconds.

Every night it writes off, as lost, whatever of this you have failed to invest to good purpose.

It carries over no balance.  It allows no overdraft.

Each day, it fills your account for you.

Each night it burns the unused funds of the day.

If you fail to use the day’s deposit, the loss is yours.

There is no going back.  There is no drawing against tomorrow.

You must live in the present on today’s deposit.

Invest it so as to get from it the utmost in health, happiness, and success.

Now what are you going to do?  Will you say, "that's a great question" and do nothing, or will you say, “I need to change the way I am living?”  If you are one of the few who live life as though you are drawing out every cent, keep it up.  I know I have left money on the table, but I am committed to drawing out every last cent of time that I can to serve people and my family. 

Time is a bank that you want to keep at a zero balance, especially when it is being spent on others.  Spend it wisely.

“Time is free, but it's priceless. You can't
own it, but you can use it. You can't keep
it, but you can spend it. Once you've lost it
you can never get it back.”  Harvey MacKay

Never Too Late

“20 years from now you will be disappointed more by the things you didn’t do than by the ones you did. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.” ~ Mark Twain

“I am having a terrible day!”  “I cannot wait until it is 5:00.”  “Is Friday here yet?”  “It has been a hard day and I cannot wait to get home.”

I know you have read these statements like I have on Facebook.  Each time I do, I wonder if the fatigue or the sentiment expressed is driven by just a good day of hard work or out of a dislike for the work they are doing.

There are so many people just going through the motions of living life here on this planet.  They get up, go to work, come home, look at TV, go to sleep and wake up and do it all over again.  They live for the weekend.  They cannot wait for the time they can take that one or two week vacation that goes by so quickly it feels like a day.

Is this your life?  If you knew you were going to die tomorrow would you be content with the way you lived your life.   Have you accomplished the things you wanted to achieve?  Are you living your life in regret?

If so, it is not too late to change.  It is not too late to act on your hopes and dreams, to do the things you really want to do, to live out your purpose.  It will take courage to step out of your comfort zone and take risks.  But it is better to try and to have failed than to never have tried.

Here just a few thoughts to help you move towards living your life with power and purpose:

• Write down your goals, “Goals are dreams written down.”  ~Unknown~   Every successful person I know has written their goals down.
• Be bold; do not place barriers on yourself.  Stretch yourself, but be realistic.
• Review your goals daily, as it will serve as the fuel to achieve them.  I have placed a reminder on my phone and my Outlook to review mine daily.
• Stay focused and do not worry if you do not meet your goal by the date you set.  The important thing is to persevere.
• Don’t forget to live, laugh, and love. 

When you are dream-driven, your life takes on so much more meaning than just going to work and waiting for the clock to strike 5.  Instead of dragging yourself out of the bed, you will find yourself getting out of bed.  There is a big difference between the two.

Black High Top Shoes

In a world where there is so much selfishness, it is always great to see people who are willing to serve others in a way that is genuine and powerful.

While watching the television series Secret Millionaire, John the millionaire met a man named Amin who ran a thrift store where he receives donations and puts together hygiene kits and distributes them to the homeless on Skid Row in Los Angeles.

While passing out the kits he noticed a man using a walker and wearing shoes that had human excrement on them.  The man explained that he had accidently stepped in it after someone had relieved himself or herself.  Without batting an eye, Amin took off his nice black high top shoes and gave them to the man.  The man was overwhelmed by this gesture and after putting them on he said they were just what he needed and expressed his gratitude.  With Amin’s help, the old man got up and went on his way, one step at a time, wearing his new black high top shoes.

The millionaire, who was incognito, observed this selfless act and was completely blown away and began to weep.  He could not believe what he had just witnessed.  You see, in his world he has been insulated from the needs of the common and the poor.  However, after this experience he committed to getting out of himself and helping others who are struggling in life.

Although not on the same level as the story above, I recently had a similar response from a lady at the post office.  I had to mail a package out of the country and found that the area where the customs forms were kept was completely empty.  I went to the counter and informed the postal worker who asked if I would restock the forms.  I did without hesitation.  After completing the form I got back into line and a lady at the counter was in the process of looking for the trash can.  I asked her if I could throw the trash she had in her hand away, and she thanked me.  It was nothing big.

After I got to the counter the postal worker said, “I noticed what you did, you restocked our forms and threw away the trash for the lady in the line, no one does that.  It is very unusual; no one wants to help others anymore.”

There are so many ways we can serve each other, giving someone in need a pair of black high top shoes, restocking forms or just throwing away trash for someone.  With so much going on all around us we must never get so busy that we won’t help each other.

Small gestures can have a HUGE IMPACT in the life of the person who receives the help or observes someone helping someone else.  

Sweet Delights

While walking through our neighborhood mall, I went into a candy store that sells current and nostalgic candy bars like Big Hunk, Bit-O-Honey, Sugar Daddy and Clark Bar. It brought back such great memories of my childhood.

Remember “penny” candy? It actually cost a penny. Now it’s like nickel candy. While walking down the aisles I was transported back to our neighborhood store. I could not believe that some of the candy I grew up eating was still being sold. It brought me so much Almond Joy to see all the candy, I began to Snicker(s). One of my favorite candies is the Chick-O-Stick. Even as I write this post I feel so good! Isn’t amazing how little sweet delights and some good memories can make a not-so-good day better if only while you consume them?

That brings me to the point of my story. Every day I speak to individuals who are struggling with the issues of day-to-day life. They express to me how difficult it is to overcome failure, disappointment, and anxiety. As they attempt to deal with the issues they are facing, they feel overwhelmed and hopeless.

Now don’t get me wrong. I am not saying a candy bar will make all of your troubles go away, but focusing on the good things can help you overcome the doldrums that life can bring. As people, we tend to focus on the bad and ignore the good things in our lives. I recently shared with a group that it is easy to jump in the river of despair and hopelessness and let it overwhelm you. If that’s where you find yourself, let me throw you a lifeline of hope.

Whether it is enjoying a piece of your favorite candy (in moderation), or taking in the beauty of a flower or feeling the rain on your skin or enjoying the memory of your favorite vacation spot, think on the good things in life and recall great memories. I am not suggesting that you live in denial, but I want to encourage you to focus on the thing you do have control over, and that is how you respond to the challenging events in your life. Your attitude can play a tremendous role in your happiness and bringing happiness to others. When you focus on others outside yourself, you will be surprised that although your problems are still there, they are not as intense. Why? Because you are thinking about and serving others.

So, when you feel down why not enjoy one of your favorite sweet delights!

There is Power in a Hug

A hug delights and warms and charms,

that must be why God gave us arms.
~Author Unknown

Today I had the opportunity to serve people at an organization called World Impact.  One of the services the organization offers is a hot breakfast to inner city residents.  This morning with all of the wind and the rain coming down, residents came to partake of the blessings of God in the form of a meal.

As I walked around the room I met a man who admitted to me that he had not taken a bath in over three days.  As he extended his hand, somehow we found ourselves in a hug; it was true—he had not taken a bath for over three days!  The amazing thing is, as we spoke the odor dissipated.  I felt Christ in that hug!  Many of us, me included, love to hug who we believe to be the beautiful people, the ones with the nice clothes and good smelling cologne or perfume.

The truth is that there a lot of people who may look good and smell good, but lack love and character, which makes them smell like they have not bathed in three days.

Over the years I have come to be known for my hugs.  As I speak to various groups, invariably I will find myself in a hug.   There is a group that I speak to regularly and when someone is down they will come to me and ask for a hug.   After the hug they always say that it makes them feel better, maybe because they can sense that it is authentic.   There is power in a hug.

My wife and my kids love to hug each other every day.  When things are going well or not so well a hug seems to make everything better.  I love it when my daughter sits on my lap and hugs me so tight that I am about to burst.  I also love to see my son standing over his mother giving her a hug around her shoulders and neck that makes her light up with the love of a proud mother.  There is power in a hug.

Millions and millions of years would still not give me half enough time to describe that tiny instant of all eternity when you put your arms around me and I put my arms around you.  ~Jacques Prévert

A genuine embrace that comes from the care and love for another human being is a powerful thing.  I am not talking about the shoulder bump, but an embrace where both of you feel the warmth of the other person.  There is power in a hug.

Do you need a hug?  Have you hugged someone today?  If not, reach out and hug someone, there is power in a hug! 

Life Happens

The rain pours, sun shines, and the wind blows, but life goes on.

Robert Louis Stevenson was bedridden with tuberculosis for most of his life. One day, his wife heard him hacking violently and said,” I suppose you still believe it’s a beautiful day.” Turning toward a window ablaze with sunlight, Stevenson responded, “I do! I will never allow a row of medicine bottles block my horizon.”  Circumstances are uncontrollable. Life’s events happen. Our responsibility is to choose our responses—our attitude. Situations may color your view of life, but you have been given the power to choose what the color will be.  Glenn Van Ekeren

How is your day going?  Is everything going your way?  Maybe you are like Norm the character in the old television series Cheers, “it is a dog eat dog world and I am wearing milk bone underwear.”  Whatever you are going through, life goes on.  I always say, where there is life, there is hope.  Even in adversity there are opportunities to change your circumstances, by changing the way you think about what you are going through.

One of the opportunities for change is to serve other people.  There is something powerful that happens when you get out of yourself and focus on helping others.  You will find that the issues and challenges you face are lessened when you help someone else.  Helping the elderly, the poor, and those who are less fortunate than yourself can be tremendously rewarding.

The amazing thing is when you are engaged in helping others, good things seem to follow.  Emotionally, you feel that you are a contributor to the well-being of others.  Seeing people smile or express their gratitude for you taking an interest in their lives is priceless.

Remember, the rain pours, sun shines, and the wind blows, but life goes on. 

Smile a Little Smile for Me

“Today, give a stranger one of your smiles.  It might be the only sunshine he sees all day. “  H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

How do you feel when someone smiles at you?  Even if you don’t know the person, there is a connection that happens for most, if only for a few seconds.   For some it gives hope in a world that seems hopeless.

There is something powerful and uplifting when someone smiles at me, especially if it’s genuine (not the cheesy smile that seems forced).  I remember when my wife would take pictures of our kids when they were very young.  She would ask them to say cheese.  They would then give her this toothy smile, and although cute it did not look authentic.

It is amazing what happens when you cast a genuine and heartfelt smile at someone.  Unless the person is just totally unhappy with life, I always get a smile in return.  I have made numerous connections with people that started with a smile.

Some people do not even know how to respond to a smile as they see so few of them.  Some might say there is little to smile about these days.  I say that is why we need to smile even more.

When you have trouble smiling, think about things that have occurred in your life that make you smile . . . the birth of your child, a great vacation you may have taken, the smell of a beautiful flower or the loving gaze of the love of your life.  

When you smile at someone it may be the only thing in their life that day which made it worth living.  Smile!J