Childhood Memories and Lifetime Lessons

“There is no doubt that it is around the family and the home that all the greatest virtues, the most dominating virtues of human society, are created, strengthened and maintained” Winston Churchill

As a child I can remember lying across my parents’ bed with my mother and sisters, playing board games. I can also recall how my mother would gather us up and go to Jack in the Box for a late night snack of greasy, but ever so delicious tacos, (I would be in heartburn city if I tried that now). One of my fondest memories is looking at the late night horror show called Creature Features with my mother and closing my eyes when Lon Chaney turned into the “Wolfman.”

I love to reminisce over my childhood; I have so many great memories. The value of family cannot be underestimated. Family is the foundation to any strong and cohesive community and nation. However, the size and quality of the nuclear family has changed dramatically over the past decade and our country is suffering for it. So many people are running around going in different directions without meaning to get pulled off track, but they do. The importance of family and insuring that children have happy and healthy childhoods seems not to even be on the radar.

I have learned so many lessons from my childhood. The importance of instilling family values and expressing your love and support for your children is one of the most important. My family is a priority. As a child I remember my mother making numerous sacrifices for us. That example is one that I will always remember. As a father, I have realized that once I established a family, my personal wants take a back seat to making sure that I can be the best husband and father to my family. Raising a family is hard work, but it’s work that can pay off big time.

What are some of your fondest childhood memories, and what lessons have you learned as a result of your upbringing?

The Bondage of Fear

A fear of flying, fear of failure, fear of death, fear of a bully, fear of losing everything are just a few of the fears humans struggle with on a daily basis and during their lifetime.  Some fears obviously are rational and some are irrational. It seems as though it does not take much to set some on the rollercoaster of fear and anxiety.

I was speaking with a friend of mine who made what he believed to be a huge mistake at work that would cost him his job.  The mistake he made was small in the overall scheme of things, but for some reason he thought it was the unpardonable sin.  He began to work up in his mind so many different scenarios on what would happen to him as a result of the mistake.  The fear he worked up in his mind was like an empty dark room that he began to fill with monsters.

I used to have an intense fear of flying.  I allowed that fear to prevent me from seizing the opportunity to travel the world during my youth.  While working at Owens Corning I was expected to fly back and forth to corporate headquarters in Ohio and other locations throughout the country.   There was no way out; I had to fly.  One day I said to myself, “I will not let this fear control me.”  I knew that my fear was irrational and that I needed to take control of my thoughts and emotions and get on the plane.  That decision resulted in my being able to see many parts of the country that I would not have experienced had I not overcome my fear.    Truth be told, I still get a little nervous, but not enough to keep me from taking off into the wild blue yonder.

Are you struggling with fear?  Don’t be a slave to it.  When I experience fear, I focus my mind on:

• Acknowledging my fear and I face it head on
• I take control of the fear, I don’t let it control me
• I stay positive

I don’t mean to minimize the impact fear can have on a person with the simple ways I deal with fear, but I choose not to give in to my fears.  I want to live a life of freedom and not in the bondage of fear.

How about you?  

Everyone Needs A Lionel

The Oscar award winning movie, The Kings Speech, is replete with many messages that really inspired me.  It is both a beautiful and powerful story about Berte, (King George VI) and Lionel, his speech therapist, and how Lionel helped Berte overcome his stammering to deliver an inspirational speech that rallied a nation on the verge of World War II.

For all of you who may have seen the movie you will recall Lionel expressing his confidence in the future King and his potential for greatness.  In spite of Berte’s stammering, Lionel saw through the perceived impediment to the heart and soul of a man that exuded compassion and love for his country.

Why am I telling you this?  Because I believe all of us need a Lionel in our lives.  We need someone to encourage us and believe in us even when we cannot see our potential in ourselves.  It is very hard to go it alone especially when we are faced with taking on new challenges.  Berte only saw himself as a naval officer and not a King.  However, with a supportive wife at his side and Lionel, who would become his best friend, Berte transformed into the person who would become King George VI.

The King’s Speech reminds me of the story of Moses who had a speech impediment that he thought would preclude him from being the leader God wanted him to be.  Moses’ “Lionel” was his brother Aaron.  Yes, I know the stories are not exactly the same, but the bottom line is this: neither man knew what he really was capable of until he was pushed outside his comfort zone. Each man had someone at his side to give him help and build his confidence.  Both the British Empire and the children of Israel needed a leader the people would follow, and that’s what each of them got.

How about you?  Do you have a friend that encourages you?  Do you have one that sees your potential and supports you?  How about someone who pushes you beyond your self-imposed limits?

If you are going to achieve any meaningful success, you will need a Lionel in your life.  

Hello Seems To Be The Hardest Word

Saying hello is to acknowledge the existence of another.

It was a beautiful Saturday afternoon so I decided to go for a bike ride. We have a great trail that runs for approximately 50 miles along tree-lined paths called the Iron Horse Trail. No, I didn’t ride 50 miles, only about 20 miles round trip, but it was still a good ride. As I was riding along, I don’t know why, but I got the bright idea that I would say hello to everyone I met on the trail. I thought this would be an easy thing to do. However, as I rode, I quickly found myself being a little uneasy, especially with the various responses.

Some people kept their heads down. Some acted like they didn't hear me. In some cases the reason they didn’t hear me was because they were listening to music on their IPod, (at least that is what I would like to think.) Some looked at me like I was strange. Some said hello under their breath, with nary a smile. I think some were taken by surprise that someone would even say hello. All in all the majority of the responses were positive.

The best part of the ride was when there was a group of riders approaching. Before they got to me I said out loud, “Hello everyone.” They all said in unison "Hello!" with big smiles on their faces.

My take-away from the experience is that I am not responsible for how people respond; it is my job to be kind and courteous. Whether on a trail, in a grocery line or in a café, we all have a responsibility to be kind.

You may never know the impact a simple hello may have on someone. Try it, you will like it!

Dream Robbers

“Goals are Dreams Written Down.” Unknown

My son, Jordan, has a dream of opening up his own music production studio. He said he can visualize how it looks with specific detail. My daughter, Ashtyn, has a dream of opening up her own restaurant. She knows where she wants her restaurant and the type of cuisine she will serve. My wife and I support their dreams and will do whatever we can to help them achieve them. We wouldn’t dream of robbing them of their dreams.

Do you have dreams? I mean big audacious dreams! Have you achieved any of your dreams or are you close to achieving them? If you are realizing your dreams, it is probably because you have them written down. Moreover, you probably have people in your life that support your dreams.

Maybe you have given up on your dreams. Maybe there are people in your life who have said your dreams are so big you will never achieve them. There are people out there that I call dream robbers. Because they don’t have dreams of their own, they want to rob you of yours. They steal your passion for your dreams; they rob you of the joy your dreams give you through their consistent negative thinking. As a result, you are left hopeless and empty.

The drive you had is all gone and the ones who stole your dreams have the satisfaction of knowing you are going to leave them. You see there are people out there who are afraid to dream and as a result they do not want you to dream. Why? Because you will leave them behind.

I spoke at an organization for high school students and I asked them if they had dreams. One of them said he dreamed of being a disc jockey for a radio station. He said he had done research and visited a station and really wanted to pursue a career in the radio industry. However, he was putting his dream off because his parents said there is not a lot of money in it. The student was totally wiped out, all he wanted was to be a DJ. How sad!

If you allow people to rob you of your dreams, it will torment you for the rest of your life. You will look back and regret that you allowed another person to steal your dreams.

If you want to be a dream achiever I have a few security keys that will allow you to safeguard your dreams and goals:

• Write your dreams down.
• Your dreams should have a beneficial purpose.
• Distill them down to smart goals with the appropriate actions for achieving them.
• Visualize your goals. If you can see it, you can achieve it.
• Focus on achieving your dreams with a laser-like focus. This focus will drive your actions.
• Only share your dreams with those who will support you and build you up.

Don’t be afraid to dream. Dreams give you purpose and fuel for living. Don’t let anyone break down the door to your dreams and rob you. Stand firm in your desire to achieve your dreams.