Ugly From The Inside Out!

"When we put bits into the mouths of horses to make them obey us, we can turn the whole animal. Or take ships as an example. Although they are so large and are driven by strong winds, they are steered by a very small rudder wherever the pilot wants to go. Likewise, the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark. The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole body, sets the whole course of one’s life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell."  James 3:3-6 NIV

Over 3 million people have been killed in the 21st century through sectarian violence, political and religious persecution. Man can be worse than any animal on earth. Animals typically kill to survive, not just to inflict pain.

Man continues to develop more effective ways to kill, hurt and cause pain to each other. I believe the careless word either written or spoken can be just as deadly. We now have a term known as "Cyber Bullying". That term did not exist 10 years ago.

People now can tweet or post on Facebook some of the ugliest and most hurtful things about people. It doesn't even matter if it's true or not. They now have a name for these people, they call them "trolls.” The ugliness of the character the name refers to is appropriate to the behavior.

My question is why?  Why are we so mean-spirited? Even our politicians call each other names like they are little kids.

We are in trouble as a people. The name calling and the violence does not seem to have an end in sight. What is it with this love affair with hatred, violence and name calling? Will it ever end?  As I write this post there is war in Egypt, Syria, Iraq, Afghanistan and other parts of the world. With the presidential elections on the horizon it promises to be the dirtiest campaign in history. And you know what?  Many are looking forward to it. You have heard and will continue to hear "negative ads work.” We love hearing the airing of the dirty laundry on our politicians. It extends to our actors and sports stars.

What to do? It starts with you. If you cannot say anything good, say nothing at all. Hmm . . .  where have I heard that before? 

You Never Know

My son recently started a new job with Starbucks Coffee and he came home and told us a story that still gives me pause. One morning a man came in to get a cup of coffee. The man really looked down and had a scowl on his face. When he came to the counter he ordered his coffee. The barista who took his order recognized the painful and troubled expression on his face and said with a smile, “You look like you could use a free cup of coffee.  Please accept it as a gift from me.”

The man took the coffee without saying a word and walked out of the store. About two hours later he returned and said to the barista, “I just got of prison and if it were not for your kindness I was going to hurt someone today.”  Wow! You never know...

You never know what someone is going through and the affect of your actions on the person. Do you smile or grimace at people you meet? Do you open the door for someone or let it slam in their face?

Some of you may have heard about the story of the student walking to school who dropped his books and as he was picking them up, another student bent down and helped him, while other students just walked by.

Years later, at the student's graduation in which he was valedictorian, he recounted the story and to everyone's surprise he said that on that day he had been on his way home to commit suicide. Because of the actions of the student who helped pick up his books he had changed his mind.

You never know...

Just like the perceptive and kind barista, we need to be aware of what is going on around us and to be sensitive to the lives of others.  Simple acts of kindness can have a big impact on someone's life and potentially change the course of history.

You never know...

You Are A Loser! (Not!)

You are a loser! Those four short little words, carelessly formed and uttered 21 years ago, had a significant impact in a man’s life.

After a brief talk I gave to a group last week, I was walking back to take a seat and this man stopped me and said,” I have to talk to you.” He shared with me that he had not known if he even wanted to be there that day until he heard me say three simple phrases:

You are valuable! You are significant! You have what it takes!

He said he had been feeling depressed, frustrated and worthless, but after hearing these phrases, something woke up in him that helped him overcome the silly, hurtful and stinging words hurled at him 21 years before, “You are a loser!”

Deep down inside he knew he was not a loser, but when things were not going well and he was stuck looking for the reasons why, little words and phrases especially, negative ones, just popped up and smacked him right in the face!

Have you ever had those words directed to you? If you have, they do not have to define who you are and what you can become. Whether you lose or win will be determined by your attitude. If you let the negativity of the words of others take root in your heart and soul, uncertainty and pain will grow.

Understanding your value and believing in who you were created to be can act as a shield to your heart and mind. As a result, no one will ever be able to rob you of who you are.

A positive attitude and your belief in yourself is a winning combination for overcoming any negative attacks aimed at bringing you down.

Half A Key

A friend of mine was sharing his story with me about when he lived in New York and fell on tough times. He recalled the time when he had failed to pay his rent and came home one day to find a big white piece of paper stuck to his door with the words, “Eviction Notice.” If that were not bad enough, he tried his key and it would not go into the lock. He explained that in New York when you are evicted the landlord breaks off half a key into the lock.

Wow! Half a key. What an insult, a slap in the face. What a feeling of hopelessness. I can almost see the shiny piece of key in the lock. I neglected to ask him if he tried to break off half of his key and fit it into the lock.

Have you ever felt the sting of half a key in your life? Maybe you lost your job and your passwords no longer work. Maybe you are in financial hard times and you go to charge groceries and the card is declined. Yes, you may have known it was coming, but when it finally happens to you, fear and feelings of failure set in. Don’t despair! You may not know it, but you hold the keys to unlocking new opportunities, even in a down economy. Your skills and experience can be used to enhance the lives of others.

Good news! There was more to my friend’s story. He responded by using the circumstance to move his life forward. He got off drugs, went to college, married his sweetheart and found a new path and purpose through his faith in God and his savior Jesus Christ. He found that Half a Key can be the key to unlock new opportunities.

Living in the Possibility

Don’t let what you see dictate what you can be.

"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me."  Philippians 4:13 KNJV


Living in the possibility of what you can be is the key to living a purpose-filled life. So many people limit themselves by what they see. Their life experiences color who they think they can be and what they think they can do. They set up barriers in their minds based on what others say they ARE and what they will become.

I want to challenge you to live in the great big world of I CAN and I WILL! Live in the world of possibility.

Many people have different opinions about the late Steve Jobs, CEO of Apple Computers. But one opinion that is shared by most everyone is that he was a true visionary. One man had a vision of transforming the way the world did business, enjoyed entertainment, and moved information. He lived in the world of POSSIBILITY.

Don’t let anyone define your possibility. When someone tells you, “It is impossible,” or “You can’t,” it’s probably because they think they can’t do it, so what makes you think you can do it, or they want to place limits on you to thwart your success.

Individuals who lived in the world of possibility:

Walt Disney, Steve Jobs, Bill Gates, Martin Luther King, and place your name here.

What sets all of these people apart is their ability to think and dream big, no matter the cost.

Living in the possibility breaks down the barriers of doubt.

The Power of Yes!

Yes, I will marry you…
Yes, you are hired…
Yes, I need you…
Yes, you have been approved…
Yes, you are moving on…
Yes, you have what it takes!

There is something powerful, uplifting and encouraging when someone says the word yes to us. When you hear the word yes, how does it make you feel?
Recently, my wife and I were watching the new show “The XFactor,” the new singing competition. During the course of the audition, there was a women about 42 who took the stage. However, prior to singing she was interviewed and asked about her background and her road to “The XFactor.” She told her story of being a single mom, and making a poor choice in a man that abused her both physically and emotionally. She said he would tell her she was too old to be a singer, and that she should give up on her dream. She expressed that she started to believe him and almost gave up. Then along came “The XFactor,” and her once in a life time opportunity.

She was then introduced, the crowd clapped and then it got quiet. She took a deep breath, the music started and she began to sing the song “Natural Woman.”

Her voice was beautiful, powerful and strong. It was filled with the emotion of being told that she was too old and that she would never amount to anything. Towards the end of the song, her eyes filled with tears, and as she hit the final note and held it, the audience went wild and gave her a standing ovation, and then the four judges joined them.

Each of the judges gave their critique. Then it was time to vote on whether she would move on… Judge one said YES!, Judge two said YES!, Judge three said YES! and then Judge four, Simon Cowell, looked back over his shoulder at the audience and said “4,304 Yeses”. At that she was overcome with emotion and walked off the stage to her children.

All of us have gone through tough times in our lives when we felt all alone. We felt a sense of inadequacy. Those feelings may have come as a result of someone doubting our abilities, or naysayers who tell us that we cannot do it, we are no good, we are too old and do not have what it takes to succeed.
Life is full of opportunities and we have to have our eyes and ears open to them. We must never doubt our abilities or give up on our hopes and dreams based on what others may say, especially those who do not have out best interest at heart.

Instead of giving in to the No-sayers, keep focused on your dreams and be patient, the YES, may be a word away!

Remember: YOU HAVE WHAT IT TAKES!

Are You Leaving Your Job Search To Chance?

We have a phrase in business, “throw the spaghetti against the wall and see what sticks.”  That’s not a business strategy that works, believe me.  It also does not work well in finding a job.  Why? Because it lacks planning and business knowledge.

Are you sitting in front of your computer throwing out resumes against the walls of cyberspace, hoping that one will stick with a prospective employer?  Well, you might as well throw spaghetti against the wall, because you will probably have better luck getting it to stick.

With this strategy, you continue your job search with little confidence that you will find that next well-paying opportunity.  With each unanswered email, phone call or resume submitted you start to think, “Will I ever find a job?”
The answer is yes, but you have to be willing to do what you have not yet been willing to do.  What is that?  Climb out of your comfort zone, (I know you have heard that phrase a thousand times, but you have never done it).  The time is now!

If you are in a rut, here are just a few suggestions you may want to consider:

• Develop your own website and place your resume, bio and samples of your work.  www.wix.com has numerous free templates to choose from.
• Start a blog on a subject in which you have expertise.  Again there are great websites like:  www.wordpress.com, www.blogspot.com and Google also offers free blog templates.
• Consider starting a small business.  The internet offers tons of help to individuals considering starting a business, but do your homework. (Keep looking for work, you can do both).
• Volunteer in your community.  There are numerous opportunities to serve in your community.  You never know who you might meet, while helping someone else.

I dare you to try something different!